Thursday, July 24, 2008

Home Alone

Factoid #8 about Moi:  

I do not now, nor have I ever had, the Home Depot gene.  I do not care to know that there are 70 different types of washers.  Or that not all of them come with a Maytag repair man.  And if my toilet breaks, I want some other poor bastard to fix/un-plug it instead of me (who has discovered that cat litter + toilet = emergency maintenance phone call).  I do not care to paint, spackle or grout my way across one side of a room to the other.  I bring this up because my entire family apparently has this gene.... and it appears to be a DOMINATE gene.

My parents were in town for three weeks.  I saw them for ~maybe~ a grand total of 6 days since they spent the rest of the time playing day-laborer over at my sister's house.  Which is cool because sisss-tohhrrr got a big ol' house for a steal and it is awesome!!  Side note on the house:  The previous owner is now on a long vacation courtesy of the Department of Corrections for trying to off the husband in the house.  Apparently when my sister tells you she got a killer house... she really means it.  And the irony of the whole thing is that the block on which the house is located is LOADED with all sorts of law enforcement officers.  Seriously, you got more people with badges and guns on that block than strippers at the AVN conference in Vegas.  (AVN? You'll have to look that one up yourself ~ sorry.)  Anyway, now she and Hubby are busy doing their version of "Design on a Dime" and back to my point.

I was seriously screwed out on the Home Depot gene.  My dad is an architect and works on construction sites where he supervises people building things for a living.  Da Mamma (and hubby) just build their own version of the backyard "Taj Mahal".  So you would think, totally basing this on Dominate-Recessive Gene science, that I would at least know that a screwdriver isn't just for Happy Hour.  Don't ask me how this gene skipped me, but it did.  I was starting to feel a little left out until I found out that Michael Kors doesn't design tool belts and that Martha Stewart has "little" people to do the "dirty" work.  Seriously?  Do you think that bitch ever really scraped paint off a wall?  Yeah, I don't think so.  Now I don't feel so bad. :-) 


Maine said...

I can't believe this hasn't garnered any comments yet - I would have thought some of your readers would have sympathy or something...or maybe just a funny anecdote about their own screwed-up gene pool. Oh well, it was fun learning something new about you anyway.

PS - good luck with the math! Gotta love those kids!

Anonymous said...

HAHA! I TRY to have the Home Depot gene and paint. And if you follow the blog, you know that I am STILL painting my dining area. I am hating paint, and spackle. And hammers. And nails. I have an apartment so that I don't have to do such things.

And you're right..martha hasn't done that shit. Her minions do it. Maybe I just need minions??

the indefatigable mjenks said...

*cough* dominant *cough*

I don't know if genes have an S-M character to them. If so, I will dedicate the rest of my life finding the gimp gene.

Also, even if the Home Repair gene is a dom over the recessive, you would still have a 25% chance of not getting it, if both your parents are hybrid (HR/hr).

Biological geekiness, right here, right now.

Vanessa said...

And when you put it into perspective like that, I don't feel so bad either! Although, I do attempt repairs, usually get in over my head and call for help.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

Princess B: I know!! I saw your painting dilemma and had to giggle in support. Painting is about the ONLY thing I am ~sort of~ willing to do.

MJenks: Biogeeks RULE!! Yep, was doing the HR/hr chart myself on this one. Not sure if genes have the DBSM gene...I'll go ask Zed (points if you get the reference:-)

Vanessa: Me, too. Actually I just stare at it and then call for help. I have discovered that if I touch stuff, it gets screwed up even worse!