Monday, March 24, 2008

Blond to the Bone

There are times when I am not the world's smartest person.  I know, you all are shocked to here me admit this, but it is true.  My Mensa-giant moments do come and go.  Case in point.
Couple of years ago I was traveling for a living and had driven to another state to do a client site visit.  I was on my way back when I got pulled over by the police.  I did my damnedest to get out of the ticket, but as luck would have it I managed to be pulled over by the only cop in history to ever write his mother a speeding ticket!!  Anyway, he comes up to the car and informs me that I was speeding.  (Yeah, dude, I was driving the car...I KNOW I was speeding... the more important question is .... Do YOU know how much I was speeding and how much is this going to cost me??)  After realizing that I am not going to be getting out of this ticket the old fashioned way ~ some cops do not take well to flirting.  Go figure. I thought I could maybe try to reason my way out.  (I have watched every Law & Order episode ever made and by pure TV-osmosis learning have a sharp legal mind.)

COP: Miss, we clocked you going 20 miles over the speed limit.  (Whew!  Cause I was actually doing more like 30 - 40.  Who knew a Saturn could haul buns like that?!)

Me: Really? I didn't see you back there.  Are you sure it was me?

COP:  We clocked your car by aircraft radar.

Me: So where was the plane?

COP: (I swear he actually rolled his eyes when he said this)  IN THE SKY!

Thank you and good night.  Yep, I got that ticket and if he could have written me up for being blond while driving, I am sure he would have done it.


La said...

I had no idea they even did such a thing! Aircraft radar? Man. I gotta start watching my speed.

mjenks said...

There are plenty of signs alongside the road that say "Speed monitored by aircraft." I think this is a bad idea because when I see those, I immediately look into the sky to see if I'm being followed by a helicoptor, a la Goodfellas.

I've always found that it sometimes helps to come right at the cop with a sense of humor, like asking how far it is to your destination. When he responds, I nod sagely and then say very seriously, "Well, I better speed up then." Sometimes it works, sometimes I get "don't be a wise ass". Silly cops.

DG said...

If you were feeling particularly ballsy, you could have said "Prove it!" And then you might have spent the night in jail, but at least you would have gotten a good sucker punch in.

That sucks!

Nilsa S. said...

I think we've all had our blond moments, even those of us with darker hair! My ex-boyfriend used to tell me I was like a computer. When I'm on, I'm really with it. But, then I go into screen saver mode, when everything just floats right over my head.

Kristen said...

That. Was. Awesome!

And you know what? I think we were separated at birth because that is EXACTLY the kind of thing that would happen to me!

I once evaded the police...I saw him catch me speeding with the radar gun and before he could even pull out of where he was hiding, I quickly drove into a florist shop and parked my car behind a large sign. He whizzed past me, lights flashing and everything.

So I went in and bought a bouquet of daisies to celebrate my victory over The Man.

True story, but I like yours soooo much better!

Great post!

Anonymous said...

lol! See in DC you can actually flirt your way out of a ticket...we got some horny cops here!
I knew I liked you for a reason, you drive a saturn too.

Amy said...

Nice one!!

Anonymous said...

That's so funny! I just got my second ticket in a year yesterday! My karma is not good these days.