Thursday, May 29, 2008

Walk it off

I am going to say this and somebody, somewhere is going to get pissed, so yeah, just get over it.

If you are going to the gym....TO WORK OUT... which is what you usually do when you go to the gym. Don't freaking ride in your car for 30 minutes, looking for the CLOSEST parking spot you can find, pissing off those of us who are stuck behind your Hummer driving ass. Park the bloody car in the first spot you see and ~ here's where this becomes a truely novel idea ~ WALK TO THE DOOR!!!  I am not joking: WALK!! 

For those of you who have recently only walked from the couch to the tub of Ben & Jerry's, I can see how this would be a truly scary situation and maybe it is why you are at the gym in the first place. Holy crap people, your legs are not going to fall off if you have to walk a few extra yards to get to the front door. From what I have seen of the buzzard-death-circle-driving-fat-asses who make these repeated rounds, a few extra steps are not going to kill you. And I'm not seeing any of the skinny b*tches circling the parking lot like their life depended on them getting the spot RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOOR, so maybe there is something to this idea?!?!?!

OK, one caveate: if it is pissing rain outside and you will mush up into a icky pile of matted clothes and hair by walking those few extra feet...then by all means, circle to your heart's content ~ cause I'll be right there with ya.  I'm not messing up $35 worth of perfectly applied Bobbi Brown make-up just so I look like a drowned cat on the treadmill.  I'm sure at $3.85 a gallon you can afford to suck up the gas instead of using the club blow dyer to fix your hair. You do get bonus points for hauling your ass out in the rain to go work out. My lumpy rear-end would have been at home "walkin' it" to the Ben & Jerry's container. So snaps for that. 

But if the couple of calories you might burn off doesn't motivate you then think about the gas you can conserve. My gas tank is guzzling more than me and the chickas at the last happy hour and the cost is burning a hole through my budget faster than the Coach summer sale! So you can rationalize the Bataan-Health-Club-Death-March that way if it helps. But for crying out loud people don't make the rest of us slowly queue up around you while you try to beat Bambi to the perfect spot ~ just park the damn car and walk.


Anonymous said...

You don't seriously put on make-up to go to the gym just so you can sweat it all off, do you?

the indefatigable mjenks said...

I kind of like this new, ranting Lisa that has cropped up the past few posts.

Check that.

I really like this new, ranting Lisa that has cropped up the past few posts.

rohit said...

that is soooo cool.that is soooo cool.

DG said...

So true. Hellooo? What is the point of going to work out if you aren't willing to work up a sweat to get to the door? Do the pounds only magically come off if the effort is given within the hallowed doors of the club, not on the outside of them?


Vanessa said...

Oh you never fail to crack me up! I agree with this though, why is it so difficult to just park the car and walk? Don't block the whole aisle waiting for someone to put on their seatbelt, adjust the radio, talk on the phone, before they back out of the parking space, just go park the car where there is an open spot!

Lisa-tastrophies said...

Yes, I wear make up to the gym. I'm a texas girl. it's illegal for us to leave the house without a full application of the Mary Kay and a half a can of Aqua-net.

Thanks for the mad-ranting feedback. I gave to admit it is fun to say out-loud the things that we usually only think to ourselves...