Wednesday, June 4, 2008


Ladies and Gentlemen:
A moment of respect for the best summer kick-off song EVER!!!  

Yes, School's Out for Summer and Alice Cooper is playing it loud & proud on my iPod ~ totally amped up by my cheap knock off Bose sound system, thank you very much....It goes to 11 (Bonus Bonus points if you get THAT movie quote correct).  Now to sit back, relax and kick it old school style at the pool...

At least until summer school starts and I have to try to make Kreb's Cycle more interesting than whatever is going on at the mall.  Which is where most of them were when I was trying to teach this sh*t in the first place, because GAWD forbid that they actually get an education instead of the five-finger-discount they were getting at Forever 21.  

Here's some interesting stuff I noticed/discovered this year:

I had kids who were on the free lunch program but apparently their parents could afford to shell out for fake nails and tattoos (YES!!! TATTOOS - in MIDDLE SCHOOL!!). Damn people, get some priorities straight.

Teaching "responsible decision making" at the end of the school year is a little bit behind the power curve (three of my students were knocked up this year).  Hey Mom & Dad! Time to pony up and have that discussion about how babies are made, because if you don't, your baby will be bringing home another baby to feed.  And since you can't take care of the first one you got, this might be the time for that little talk... Just a thought.

Kids will say what they read and hear.  If you happen to say "slap my bitch" out loud to your friend/spouse/anyone you think that phrase is oh-so-appropriate to say to ~ your kid is going to repeat it at school.  Don't ask me where he learned it when I call to tell you Little Johnny just told me to "suck it" when I asked for his home work. Trust me, that phrase is not on the language arts curriculum. Again with the stepping up on the parenting skills.

Since we are on the parenting skills... Some of you all need to get some!  I don't know what your parents let you get away with when you were a kid, but if I had even THOUGHT about doing half the sh*t these kids do.... OOOOHHHHH, I would have been knocked into next week and spanked again on Friday!!  It is NOT my job to parent your kid.  It is my job to teach Little Johnny to read, blow up the science lab, understand history and develop whatever critical thinking skills he will need for the future if he ever wants to do anything more than deliver for Double Dave's pizza. Not to instill the basics tenants of appropriate bathroom behavior. Since when is writing your name on the wall of the bathroom with urine acceptable? Writing it in the snow...maybe.  On the wall in the middle of the school day in the Texas heat...not so much.  

School's out and I have time to regain my sanity and dignity. (Really, seeing an almost XX-year-old woman cry like a baby at the last bell of the year ~ not a pretty sight and dignity was nowhere to be found.)  Also to reflect on why I chose to teach.  (It chose me really.) The moments are small and few, but when they do happen and the light goes on in a child's mind, it is the most wonderful feeling to know that you helped flip the switch.


the indefatigable mjenks said... Spinal Tap.

Anytime I hear (or read) a reference to school being out for the summer, I think fondly back on the many times I've watched Daze and Confused.

Vanessa said...

Congrats on your hard won summer break! Also? I'm so with you on parents getting the financial priorities straight. Stop with the designer jeans, cell phones and everything else if you can't afford to eat!

DG said...

Another utterly fabulous post! You are on fire, girl! These kids? Don't EVEN get me started. You do realize that the "free" lunch program is only "free" to those who eat it, because the rest of us suckers are payin' for it, right? ARGH!

Oh - MJenks - watched Dazed and Confused the other night. I luuurrrve that movie. It has a place of importance on my movie shelf.

Maine said...

You probably don't hear this enough, so I'll add my 2 cents: you rock! Bless you for taking on one of the most difficult jobs and handling it with style (even if the final bell does bring out a little emotion). I know you're doing a fantastic job and that those kids, whether they admit it or not, are REALLY lucky to have you!

You are doing a great job of making your friends very proud of you.

Enjoy your time off by the pool, it is well-deserved!

LarryLilly said...

I have nothing but praise for you and pity at the samne time. Trying to teach beyond "The TAKS Test", and trying to become what the parents are not.

I have a solution, taken from my blog.
WHAT CLASS IN SCHOOL DO YOU THINK IS TOTALLY USELESS? K-12. And College. LOL, No, I think all 15 year olds should spend 2 months in a juvey detention hall, then 2 months in a homeless shelter, then the last 2 months in a half way house. That should get them motivated for real education, or get them trained for their next career as a resident in one of those three places.

Hears to summer

Hey ts over until September 2.

LarryLilly said...

And after whipping out that post above, it appears that I need some remedial spelling LOL.

Hey, oui dunt marque off for speiling, do oui?

I'm Frank said...

I don't know that I could ever be a teacher...I have little patience for the dumb kids, and I'd probably pick favourites right off the bat. Also, I'm kind of a dick, so I bed I'd end up getting fired for telling them they were all adopted or something.

the indefatigable mjenks said...

Larrylilly: We don't take off for spelling. We do take off for spelling like a Frenchie. ;-)

Lisa-tastrophies said...

MJenks gets bonus bonus points for knowing the movie. Cause, yes it does go to 11!!
Thanks to everyone for the appreciation of being a teacher. Yeah, at times the kids suck, but the rewards make it so worth it.... working only 187 days out of the year doesn't suck either.