Louis and Prada and Coach, Oh My!!

Hello. My name is Lisa-tastrophies and I have a hand bag problem.

I have been hand bag free for 132 days. Unless you count the beautiful black Coach leather tote that I was re-gifted for my birthday. Since I did not actually purchase this handbag, I think that all my days on the wagon should count.

I wasn't always like this. Years ago I was content with my pink pleather purse that I had purchased from JC Pennys or the tan Dooney & Burke I received for my high school graduation. Until the day I met Louis.

Well, Hello Louis

Louis Vuitton came to me in vintage Bucket style. Complete with matching cosmetic bag. I was as hooked as the chain link clip that held the cosmetic bag neatly inside my beloved bucket bag. The smell of the fine Italian leather. The feel of the soft interior as I reached for my sunglass case. The cold radiating from the very snaps, rings and grommets that held it all together. It was the beginning of a beautiful life together... and my decent into hand bag snobbery.

My second Louis V was the signature piano bag. Angelina Jolie carries one. I had to have it. I hunted, researched and located an authentic piano bag on ebay. Managed to acquire it with only a little resistance from the bidding public. After a semi-heated last minute bidding frenzy during which I crushed my opponent with my sheer will and credit limit, I had the bag. It was perfect. Once on my shoulder, my walk was a little sexier. My lips a little poutier, and my attitude was all Jolie. We became sisters in handbags, carrying secrets that only our perfect LV Piano bags could hold.

The Coachman Cometh

Coach came to me latter. I was a working woman then and needed a bag that matched my perfectly well heeled sense of style. One that said grace, timelessness and "yes, I did spend my last paycheck on this bad boy so you had better recognize". Coach and I have been together for many years. I have seen some of his bad design decisions but loved him for his classics collections. He has carried my load through airports, small towns, big towns and half of Europe and never complained. Even when I passed on the older coaches to younger friends, Coach has rewarded me with new, and beautiful yet timeless replacements. While I may grow up to be a Channel quilt bag woman, we will always have Paris.

Longchamp By a Nose

Which brings me to my lovely Longchamp. My bag that's the "insider" bag. I love these bags for their durability and ability to fold into small envelope size for easy carry. I have two. One that opens into a purse. The other one blossoms into a carry all that truly could hold the kitchen sink. However what I love most about the Longchamp bag is its selectivity. Hardly anyone outside of Europe knows about these handy little beauties. So when I see another woman carrying her Longchamp bag it's like seeing a long-lost sorority sister. We nod, acknowledge each other's good taste in bags and smile that our secret is safe within fashionable hands.

Hermes Hermit

But the piece del la resistance. The Holy Grail of all handbags. The Mother of them all is still woefully out of my reach. The Hermes bag. Hermes, the Olympian god of boundaries and of the travelers who cross them (thank you Winkipedia.org). The handbag that sets the boundary for all good taste and distinction - not to mention ostentatious display of wealth and clout. Not just one, but two pieces of hand bag perfection never to be obtained by mere mortals. The Kelly Bag. Designed for America's Princess - Grace Kelly. It stood for all things glamour and fairy-tale. Then came the Birkin. Named after a british singer named Jane Birkin. Ah the Birkin. Starting price $7500 and a waiting list longer than that of a Miley Cirus concert sales line. THE bag to have. It says you have arrived. You are the bomb and no one in NYC's elite is going to turn you away now.

My name is Lisa-tastrophies and I am a bag lady. I have accepted that I am powerless against the lure of the name brand and that I have handbag issues. I love these convenient packages for all my gear. I live for the smell of leather and suede. The feel of the weight on my shoulder. The thrill of the new purchase. God, grant me the serenity to accept that I can not change (or exchange the bag after purchase), the courage to buy cheap imitation knock-offs, and the wisdom to never spend what amounts to that of a down payment for a house on a large bag of leather & metal. Amen.