Tuesday, December 11, 2007

It's Rocket Science People!!

For those of you who don't know me, I have a Bachelor of Science Degree in Community Health (with an emphasis in Epidemiology - BIG word for I like to learn about icky diseases) from a Big 12 university. Suffice it to say, I have been to a college science class, or two.

Last summer I decided I was going to go back to school to become an RN. I trot down to the local community collage (LCC) after having sent my transcripts, proof of residence and application fees to meet with the "guidance counselor". Trust me people, I need more guidance than this guy can give, but that is whole other story...or two. After going over the courses I would need to take in order to meet the requirements for acceptance into the Associate Degree RN program, I trot off to register. Apparently my prerequisite science classes are over five years old and I will need to take them over in order to get into the program. No problem. I aced Micro, A&P and Biology years ago, so how hard can it be? The events in mitosis don't change. Yeah, but this is me we are talking about......

I walk up to the registration desk where a slightly "full-figured" dark haired girl dressed just this side of slutty is finishing off her Big Bang Burrito. Irritation at my interrupting her culinary experience is written all over her face; just like the beans from the burrito. Note: If you are full figured and want to wear a low cut shirt, I am all for it. Show those twin off! Just get some support for them for Dawg's sake and don't make me look at them while you push them up to damn near popping out with the desk edge. Oh yeah, and wipe your burrito off your face before you open your mouth.

Me: "Hi! I need to register for Biology, Micro I and A&P courses this fall."

LCC Laky: "OK, you will need to take a test."
She takes my registration paperwork and pulls me up in the computer. (The twins bob precariously close to making a personal appearance while she types.)

Me: "Uuummmm, what test?"

LCC: "The test that will tell us if you can pass a college biology course." (I swear she was rolling her eyes, but I was too busy watching the wonder-twins for a possible break out.)

ME: "Oh, I don't need to take it. I have a BS degree and have taken all of these classes before, I just have to take them over because I took them over five years ago."

LCC: "Yes, but we need to know that you have the background to take a science at the college level or if you need to take a prep-course." (She sits back from the desk and the twins go back to the rightful place where they mercifully stay put for the rest of our conversation...wheew!!)

ME: (After taking a deep breath.) "I understand that you want to make sure I can pass the classes, but I have already passed these classes...at the college level....I just need to retake them because they are too old to count towards the degree."

Does anyone see where this is going....

Ms. Community College looks at me as though I CLEARLY am not intelligent enough to understand that even though I have a BS degree and I have already taken these courses at the university level, that LCC apparently holds its students to an academic standard on level with that of Harvard.

LCC: "We make everyone take the test so that we can help them make sure they can pass a college level science class......"

I tune out as I picture myself banging my head against the counter that I pass out and someone brighter than Ms Burrito-Twins appears to save me from this conversation. UUUUGGGGHHHH.

Me: "I have taken these classes and passed AT A FOUR-YEAR-UNIVERSITY*! and made nothing less than a B in them **!!"
*One with a decent reputation for academic achievement, I might add. I doubt very seriously that Local Community College will be harder.
**OK that part is a little lie: I made a C the first time I took Biology,s o I took it over and made a B, but that would confuse her and I wasn't going to chance having all four of her brain cells expire from over-exertion.

Clearly not getting through to her, I ask to speak with someone who could maybe grant me oh say a waver or had a slight understanding of logic. Let's just say that the next person I talked to had fewer brain cells than Ms. Big-Burrito and the conversation was a repeat...several times. After an hour I left the building and decided that I may want to be a nurse, but I sure as dog's tails don't want a degree from a college that employes people who don't comprehend "I HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE IN SCIENCE, WHICH PROVES THAT I CAN PASS A COLLEGE SCIENCE CLASS!!!" Oh just shoot me.....


Ainsley said...

I love this story! lol.
makes me giggle just a bit and almost not feel bad for not having called lately to check in- though i do have to say- you would make a fabu nurse!

ElleBee said...

I've had experiences like this and it makes me think that when I get around ineptitude, I become inept and unable to speak the English language coherently. Clearly it must be me, I think, because NOBODY is that stupid! Good for you for leaving.

Anonymous said...

Isn't academia the most insane institution? Good thing they didn't want you to take a PE test to see if you could walk across the graduation stage!

Bean Counting Knitter said...

Wow! I guess they forgot the common sense test....