Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Hi-Jacked Blog

This is Bud E. Phat and Elsa Lioness.
Ms. Tastrophie is sh*t-faced flat down on the bed in a NyQuil induced coma trying to cure another nasty cold. Being the loving pets that we are, we decided that revenge is best served when one is passed out cold. So we have jacked the computer for some sweet payback.

After purchasing a lifetime subscription to Live Nude Cats ( ) and finding a few new friends ( were willing to send us some premium grade kittty-nip, we have decided to spill the Whiskas on Ms. Tastrophie. Of course she probably will sell us down the river when that box from PlayPet arrives C.O.D. Who knew that a little feathers and fuzz could cost so much? Good thing this woman had a few coin hidden in the cabinet.

Now, here's where you come in. Send us your questions, inquiries and twisted photo requests and we will kitty up the goods. Trust us, that girl ain't getting out of that bed anytime soon. We mixed the xanax with the NyQuil and she hasn't seen the light for the past two days. We're thinking if we can work this right, we can spill the beans, and get the packages hidden before she realizes that we figured out human technology.*

So what do you want to know?

P.s. Wizard Cat ~ WE LUV U!!
P.s.s. Fernando ~ You had us at "Oink"

*Cause really people? What the hell do you think we do all day when you are away? Sleep? Chase mice? Yea, right. Check your cable bill. Those $3.99 movie rentals you been blaming on the kids? The "good" cheese that keeps disappearing from the fridge? Those internet sites you pretend you don't go to? We know.


McGone said...

God lord, you are rather literate animals. Here's my question: How did you get so gangster, and how do you work the computer so well without opposable thumbs?

Wizard Cat said...

*pats his little paws together* Excellent.

Now, Bud E. and Elsa...what you really need for bartering power is pictures. You know the ones. Keep them hidden, but when she asks, get quiet and give her the knowing nod.

Putty in your paws, my friends. Putty in your paws...

DG said...

Here is a question for my little feline friends...

What do you do when you're typing in a frenzy and the cat litter trapped in your fuzzy paws flies free and drops in those miniscule places in-betwixt the computer keys? Do you...

A. Hijack the vacuum and suck 'em out?

B. Slide your little kitty tongues into the space, hoping to latch onto the wandering litter, and then get your sandpaperish appendages stuck in said space?

or C. Leave it and let the Xanax-Ho-Ho-Nyquil Queen deal with it latah because, let's face it, you are animals of leisure and mischief anyway?

Just wondering.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

McGone: We were street kitties before Ms. Tastrophie took us in and showed us the error of our ways. Or we watch entirely too much BET/MTV for our own good. You decide. We gotz skills on the computer via the hunt and pounce method. And spell check.

MIGHTY AND WONDERFUL WIZARD CAT: we are still working on the camera thing. Apparently our inability to focus after much ingested kitty-nip has affected our photog skills. We're working on it, soon as we can focuuuu...oh bright shiny ball.

DG: Our answer is C. and we are sticking to it...just like the litter on our paws. (Actually we tried the licking thing, but got our tongues stuck and Ms. Tastrophie laughed so hard she almost wet herself.)